i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
