Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
