you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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