Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
