I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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