Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you inspire me to be a worse person
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
