I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
