somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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