Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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