dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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