I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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