omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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