She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
