Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just cut my nipple shaving
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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