Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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