Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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