This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
