You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
