I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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