once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
