Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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