I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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