only if we run a train.
done.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
where are my eyebrows?
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