What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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