why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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