It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
