Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
