my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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