I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
