it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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