I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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