you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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