hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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