Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she told me i tasted like america
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
