i just had sex bonerless
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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