First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
