Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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