...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
