OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Found the puke drawer
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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