Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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