Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Actions speak louder than pants.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
