i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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