Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
