just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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