I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
