guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
