The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize