Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
