I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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