Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
