you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize