he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Randomize
