I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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