He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
