my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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