He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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