i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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