What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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