Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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