yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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