just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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