This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize