Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
