Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
