She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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