one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
